angryfistofgod | Locked to WhiteHunter // Prolly not Mags-safe? IDK

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Locked to WhiteHunter // Prolly not Mags-safe? IDK

So on a scale of 1 to 100, Ace fucked up on an imaginary plane. Yeah.

He trotted along to hunt Smoker down. Stupid fucking arrogant marine. So he'd never hunt Ace down, but Ace always had to find him? He didn't get it. Sometimes that was lonely. What was the point in dating the best hunter in the world if it didn't go both ways? He wanted to sit on a roof and think but he had a feeling Smoker wouldn't come find him. Hell, if it was reversed would Ace go find Smoker...?

Actually. Yes.

But still, that wasn't the point. Smoker wouldn't and they were different people.

"Think like Smoker, think like Smoker," he muttered to himself and walked to the nearest bar. Unless he missed his guess, Smoker was going to drink, pick up a girl, and do everything he could to forget why he bothered spending any amount of time on a stupid freckled fire brat in the first place.

Ace's heart was in a vise. The stronger it pumped, the more it seemed like it was going to get squeezed. A cage or a pair of seastone cuffs wrapped tightly around it. It still beat, but it hurt more than he knew it could.

He saw a man smoking with Smoker's hair color from behind and froze. Whatever he wanted to say wouldn't be enough. Whatever he could do to make up for it... wouldn't be enough. Was he always just kidding himself? Pretending he could be someone who could just be around one person to be happy. Ace was never happy.

He grabbed a seat on the barstool next to the man, calmly ordered a drink and kept his hat low. He spoke up, only barely caring if Smoker heard, forgave him, or left all over again. "Have you ever been so lonely, that sometimes all you can hear is a question about whether you even should have been born?"

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Ace nodded slowly, though his neck was starting to burn up again. Rage? Embarrassment? Shame? Lust? Heat? He didn't even know.

"I don't..."

Don't what? Deserve the trust? That much was apparent. Want to hurt Smoker again? Yeah definitely.

He shook his head again and gestured more towards shore and started wading, at least as much as he could. Everything felt sluggish. He waited until the waves were just over his knees and sat down in the ocean.

"I get to surf again," he mentioned idly, referring to nothing in particular. "And I met a guy who's going to race me against my skiff. Whenever I can get it back." He wasn't sure why, but he wanted to share it with Smoker. The sides of him Smoker couldn't see because he wasn't there.

"I got my ass handed to me in gay chicken, I'm sure you're not surprised. So before me how many male marines did you fuck?"

He reached out a hand for his hat. He was ready to be deserving of it again and protect his treasure.

Smoker, however, was not. He held it away from Ace, looking down at the moron with a frown.

Why was his sexual relations important suddenly? He squinted down at the brat with a wary raise of the brow. "A few. Why?" He used the hand that had been wound in the black hair to rewind itself through the thick hair and tug. "Why does it matter?"

"It doesn't matter," Ace sighed and glanced down wearily, unfazed by the rough hand in his hair, "But you do."

He wriggled about. This was far less comfortable than he expected, which could only make sense given how he was chest deep in ocean, not wearing any underwear and there was wet sand threatening to wedge in the deepest worst parts of his shorts.

"You said there's parts of us we don't share. I don't want to be like that. I don't want separate lives. I don't know. I don't want you to stop being a marine, and I'll definitely never stop being Pops' son. But I still share those things with you. I don't know, I don't know..."

He pulled his knees protectively up to his chest. "Someone," Zoro actually, but Ace didn't want to name names here. "Said I need to learn to slow down. It's always full throttle or full stop with me, I guess. I never noticed with you. I never worried I could burn you. Somehow I didn't think what I did mattered. And that made me not care. I don't ever want to hurt you again. But I will, won't I? That's all I do. I burn people. Can't comfort like your smoke, can't touch ice or it'll melt. Just... fuck. Get away before you'll get burnt more." Ace could already feel his fire surging again, right around the neck, and he idly splashed at Smoker's legs, half serious, half playful.

Smoker felt sympathetic to Ace's plight. He had a lot to say to everything about his mini-rant, but now wasn't the time. Not when he began heating up and visibly looked like he was about to explode if Smoker didn't do something. So, he lightly shoved Ace backwards into the water and stared at him, making him surface with a light tug of his hand.

"Everyone has their secrets to keep, Portgas," he growled quietly, though he instead lightly pet through the wet black hair, tugging lightly closer to the scalp. "And our lives aren't separate, brat. They're singular, twisting and turning around each other, sometimes they stray away, but they're still ours." He ruffled the others hair lightly and kissed his forehead.

"Yeah, you'll hurt me and I'll hurt you, you can't keep trapiezing through life like you can't hurt someone. You'll hurt everyone that way." He watched the brown eyed brat and sighed, closing his own, he counted. "I don't like following anyones way but my own, Portgas. You? Need to follow your own justice, stop worrying about hurting me. I'm still angry, yeah, but that's because you're a stupid bastard sometimes." He ground down on the cigars. "Chu."

"Chu..." Ace muttered and blew a kiss up to the other man.

"My own justice huh?" Right now, he wasn't sure what that was. Everything seemed to be all over the place, like walls of flame, flickering in all the directions and Ace was trying to keep it from spreading in the wind. "Do you still trust my justice?"

"Yes." Smoker didn't even miss a beat, eyes focused down on Ace. He offered the other a hand and kept his eyebrow perked high. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm not even sure what my own justice is. I didn't think gay chicken would be a problem, but then you got hurt and I don't want that," Ace stayed seated in the water though he put his arms around Smoker's leg.

"You do know what it is, it's just muddled because you're trying to do to many things at once." He kept the hand in Ace's hair, petting him lightly. "You can stand up, brat," he pointed out with a soft snort, rolling his eyes at the brat.

Ace stood up and gave Smoker's midsection a very wet hug. "I hate it," he growled, "I hate being the black sheep. I just want to fit in with my family. I can't, so I just try to embrace who I am, but maybe I don't know what that is. Why the fuck do you still love me?" He lightly bit Smoker's chest mostly because he needed to bite him somehow and the chest was there.

Smoker just continued to roll his eyes and lightly pet Ace's hair. He could whine and whimper and pretend he was a black sheep, but that was good. He didn't love someone who just fit in with everyone, he wanted someone who was rough around the edges and just did the best he could. Ace did all of that and more.

"Because I know where you fit."

"Oh," Ace mumbled and just hugged Smoker hard. Where he belonged was it? It was always so easy for the marine sometimes and Ace almost envied that, but mostly right now, he appreciated it in every way possible. "You really think I belong with you?" he mumbled, slowly letting his thoughts sort themselves out. "Yours?" it was a tentative question.

He was self destructive and it seemed like everyone else got caught up in that, but Smoker was still impervious, and Ace really needed that in his life.

"Would I be standing here if I didn't?" Smoker frowned and wrapped his arm around Ace, the hand on his head sliding to cup the back of it. "Yes, mine. Why else would I be pissed that I caught you kissing Roronoa, Blacksheep? Do you think that you don't matter to me? Stupid."

"Yeah. Yeah I did," he kisses Smoker hard on the side of the mouth lacking cigars and does his best to lean his forehead up to Smoker's. "I don't deserve to matter to you." Ace shifted in his stupid soaked shorts and hugged around Smoker's neck. "Take me home. I don't know where that is, but you do. Take me home and punish me, teach me a lesson, however you want. I just like being yours." He nibbled Smoker's neck.

"I'm probably just going to go to bed." He huffed, though let Ace hug him over and over again. Ace was so needy some times, such a bottle rocket. He did smirk a bit, carrying Ace back to shore and putting the ridiculous orange cowboy hat on his head as he shook his coat out from the sand and handed it to Ace.

Ace cheerfully put the coat on his own shoulders and snuggled into Smoker's neck. "Mind if I stay with you?"

"Considering you have my jacket on, what do you think the answer is?" Smoker was so amused and attempted to get his boots on with one hand.

"Good," Ace growled and latched himself onto Smoker's ears so he could bite and suck on them. "Does that make you home?" he squirmed about trying to find a comfortable way to drape all over Smoker even more. Clearly he didn't care that much about helping Smoker get his shoes back on. Oops.

Making a frustrated noise, Smoker huffed, his hands pausing in trying to tie his boots to gain a tiny bit of a tremble to them. "Yes," he muttered, nudging Ace with a nose before giving a soft warning growl of, "Portgas, watch it." He didn't actually mind too much, he knew, though he needed his hands steady and the slow burn of arousal sparked by the overly hot mouth on his ear was unwanted.

"I am," Ace pouted and sucked on Smoker's ears more. "I'm watching very very carefully," he grumbled, and didn't stop in the least. Clearly he and Smoker were talking about two very different things.

Growling more, Smoker removed his hands from his boot and whacked Ace lightly over the head. "Brat! Ears!" He bristled like a lion, eyes narrowed on the top of his idiots head. "Blacksheep, I swear," he groaned afterwards, though definitely not how Ace probably wanted him too. Lightly poking his forehead and bending down to quickly get his boots on before Ace could assault his ears again. It was bad enough how hard his hands were shaking. "You have two settings, three if you count Sleeping."

Ace mewled a whimper and rubbed the top of his head, more from being pushed away from getting to continue abusing the marine's ears than out of any amount of pain. He huffed irritably, but the shaking hands certainly didn't go unnoticed, "Yeah? What are they? Hungry, Trouble, and Asleep? Because I'm still the first two while I'm sleeping. For the record."

Ace squirmed about again and tried to deal with the soaking shorts. Seriously. Not comfy.

"I forgot hungry," Smoker replied rolling his eyes at the huffy firebrat. "Angsty, Sex-Starved and Asleep actually." The smirk Smoker wore was nothing short of shit eating, as he finished putting on his boots and rolled down his jeans. "Sometimes you're all four and that's a pity, rarely you show a fifth state to other people, but I don't think you even believe it exists most of the time. I see it more often than most and your," he snorts, "brothers see it more than I. It's Happy, by the way."

"I don't angst," Ace scowled at the implication and tackled Smoker again, this time half out of a fit of feistyness, and less out of a desire just to cling to the marine. "And Sex-Starved is just both a different type of Hungry and Trouble. But I don't know about the happy. Maybe. But I'm always a black sheep. Here with you, or there with them." He belonged between worlds and sometimes that meant that he belonged to none of them at all.

"Blacksheep." Smoker sighed with a forlorn expression, catching Ace too easily and bracing himself against going crashing to the ground. "Wrap." He expected the fire logia to know what he meant as he spit spent cigars onto the sand and crushed them out with his boot. His big gloved hands moved to pluck two cigars out of the jacket's pockets and a mango sweet that he put on the other side of the new cigars, in offering for the annoyance clinging to him.

"And so we're clear? You're very angsty. Sex-Starved is not a mixture of trouble and hungry, as you're not trouble, just annoying." He rolled grey eyes this time, fixing him with a look. Though he did seem to pause and think for a moment. "Are you planning on kissing Roronoa again, Portgas?"

Ace happily took the mango candy, almost as if just to prove that the sex-starvation was just an aspect of regular starvation after all and planted a kiss on Smoker's lips as he stole the candy, sucking cheerfully. His expression dampened slightly, though he did indeed, wrap himself around the smoke logia user, and simply held on there. "I don't plan these things in the first place," Ace frowned. Maybe that was the problem. Not thinking things through. He kind of lived too much in the moment, and he wasn't really sure how to stop it.

"But I won't if it bothers you," his heart ached again. He didn't know what to tell Smoker and nothing could make it right. What was he supposed to say? Or do? "Don't... I'll always..." Ace started up a few times and shook his head, simply buried his face in Smoker's neck and tried to think. "I get caught up in the moment and it's worse when I'm alone." He slid off Smoker's back and sunk into the sand with his arms around his legs. "You shouldn't trust me," he pulled the hat low over his head, shrouding himself in darkness and blocking out the sun.

Okay Smoker was right, he was being angsty. Meh.

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