angryfistofgod | Locked to WhiteHunter // Prolly not Mags-safe? IDK

Entry tags:

Locked to WhiteHunter // Prolly not Mags-safe? IDK

So on a scale of 1 to 100, Ace fucked up on an imaginary plane. Yeah.

He trotted along to hunt Smoker down. Stupid fucking arrogant marine. So he'd never hunt Ace down, but Ace always had to find him? He didn't get it. Sometimes that was lonely. What was the point in dating the best hunter in the world if it didn't go both ways? He wanted to sit on a roof and think but he had a feeling Smoker wouldn't come find him. Hell, if it was reversed would Ace go find Smoker...?

Actually. Yes.

But still, that wasn't the point. Smoker wouldn't and they were different people.

"Think like Smoker, think like Smoker," he muttered to himself and walked to the nearest bar. Unless he missed his guess, Smoker was going to drink, pick up a girl, and do everything he could to forget why he bothered spending any amount of time on a stupid freckled fire brat in the first place.

Ace's heart was in a vise. The stronger it pumped, the more it seemed like it was going to get squeezed. A cage or a pair of seastone cuffs wrapped tightly around it. It still beat, but it hurt more than he knew it could.

He saw a man smoking with Smoker's hair color from behind and froze. Whatever he wanted to say wouldn't be enough. Whatever he could do to make up for it... wouldn't be enough. Was he always just kidding himself? Pretending he could be someone who could just be around one person to be happy. Ace was never happy.

He grabbed a seat on the barstool next to the man, calmly ordered a drink and kept his hat low. He spoke up, only barely caring if Smoker heard, forgave him, or left all over again. "Have you ever been so lonely, that sometimes all you can hear is a question about whether you even should have been born?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Smoker had been about to kiss him back when the idiot slid off of his back into a puddle of sad. The freckles were sad, they weren't allowed to be sad. It wasn't allowed because it actually hurt when the freckles were sad. He didn't turn, instead pressed the heel of his palm to his temple and began rubbing, closing his eyes as he counted backwards from twenty slowly, matching his breathing to the circuits of the rubbing. He needed to thank Tashigi for that.

"Would I still be here if I wasn't willing to try, Portgas?" He was pretty sure he deserved a medal for not swearing colorfully at him. He bet the angry words lingering just under the surface would do more than rip everything apart. They weren't needed. Ace was forgiven, but it was still there. It festered like an open cut, puss leaking and blood pouring and it wasn't healing. Maybe it was finally settling just what he saw.

He didn't hate Ace, he forgave Ace, but it just wouldn't... "I don't get what you want from me." Not a question, not rhetorical, hell, he doubted waxing rhetoric would do nothing for him here, that it was lost on the idiot drowning in a pool of his own self loathing. "I don't know what you're expecting me to do, do you want me to tear a strip off of you? Do you want me to be angry? Portgas, you're a grown man, you're not a black sheep, I told you where you fit, you have that. But here you are a goddamned pile of sad freckles." He felt the anger, the fierceness of his words drain from him, as if saying them made it go away as he crouched down to lightly thumb at his jaw. His look wasn't pity, just sullen acceptance that Ace was on his low point. "I don't like sad freckles."

Ace took off his hat again and sullenly did his best not to look sad. He bit Smoker's thumb and held it between his teeth. "I'm not sad," he insisted, though he wasn't sure how believable it sounded. What did he want? What did he want. He didn't even know anymore. Except he did. "Hug me," he decided and leaned against the marine, though his own arms were still wrapped around his own legs. It was kind of more like half topping over sideways.

"I told you. I want you. But I don't want to be alone. If I belong with you, and this is home, then what do I do when I can't find home. You told me I have to be the one to come to you and I do, but it gets lonely. If you don't want me to share all my life with you, you can't get mad at me when there's parts of me you can't have. I don't want it that way, but I'd rather it was that than I was alone," Ace sighed and closed his eyes. "I like having fun, I like teasing, I like playing around, I like flirting. I like it best with you and only you and I don't like that is that way, but I accept it. I don't know what to do about it though. I don't know what I want to do about it. I don't even know how to feel about it. Or how I want to feel about it. Maybe just numb."

The freckles just got sadder. Smoker rubbed his forehead and then inched his fingers back to his temple to press and rub again, while he gave him an one armed hug. "Portgas," he started, murmuring against his forehead, "I'm a marine. You're a pirate. You won't change me and I won't change you. I'm not letting you force me to try and choose." He felt like that was where it was going, that Ace finally decided to try and choose between the two.

"Your home is with me, you can just view everything else as a visit somewhere until you're coming home, I don't know." Gritting his teeth, he finally scooped up Ace, leaning him back towards his chest. Why was he the one picking up the pieces of Ace when Ace was the one who fucked up? Love, ah, cruel mistress, akin to the sea.

"Follow your justice, Portgas, you know what you need to do, but you just won't let yourself see it."

Ace shook his head. "Don't say that," he mumbled hoarsely, there were tears already welling up inside of him, threatening to take over. "I don't want you to change, I don't want you to choose, but if I'm just... If I'm just..." he sniffed, he didn't even realized when he'd started to cry. "If I have to pick where I'm supposed to be... we both know that isn't here." He was really crying now. This wasn't what he wanted! Not at all. "My nakama, my loyalty... I can't..." Tears rolled down his cheeks and he tried to get up. "I'm sorry. You're right."

This was dumb.

Pirate and marine, so what? Hadn't he always said, so what? Hadn't he always said it didn't matter? Smoker was the one who thought it mattered. "Don't ask me where I want to be. I already know." Ace took a deep steady breath, stopped the flow of tears and started walking through the sand, his wet boots still squishy. "But I can't sacrifice my justice to do it, right?"

Fuck.

He really hated himself now. "Just do what you must."

Edited 2013-02-21 11:20 (UTC)

"All right, I will."

He smacked him. Hard. And then rolled his eyes.

"Grow the fuck up, Portgas. Your place belongs with both. You fucked up, just don't do it again. It's that simple."

Smoker rolled his eyes, though rearranged Ace to put him back over his shoulder and stomp towards his ship, muttering to himself about annoying black sheep and their annoying martyr complexes.

Ace blinked in surprise. Not for the first time today, he had no idea why he was forgiven without even asking for it. No, forgiven while specifically insisting he didn't deserve it. Smoker was weird. But Ace liked it.

He bit Smoker's shoulders and licked it. It tasted nice. "I love you," he mumbled and lightly kicked Smoker's chest with a knee mostly because it seemed like the right way to continue what was shaping up to be the most fucked up day of his life. "I'm giving you a blowjob later. When you're either not tired or less angry." He nodded his head, satisfied with hearing the words and squirmed about trying to reach Smoker's ear so he could bite it and suck that too.

"No, I'm going to fuck you into the bed and make you sleep so I can do work."

Smoker called it a success, though he was struggling to keep the squirming and kicking pirate from getting at his ear. "I love you, too. Chu." If anyone wondered why a very grumpy, but red faced Smoker walked onto the deck with a pirate wrapped in his jacket walked onto the deck, then they weren't on the fucking crew. Because by now, it was a common place.

He stomped his way to his cabin and only paused once to take the news paper and paperwork that Tashigi handed to him, neither marine batting an eye at Ace, though while Smoker turned away and began walking, Tashigi gave a mute greeting and a wave.

Ace mewled wantonly at that proclamation and squirmed some more, determined to get to the ear. "Chu," Ace agreed and cheerfully waved at Smoker's men as they passed. Commonplace indeed. Really he should be less friendly with them, but now that he was more sure than ever before that being with Smoker was home, that made Smoker's crew family too.

"You can't make me sleep if I don't want to though," Ace nodded, completely certain of this fact that he just made up.

"Lies and slander," Smoker replied, adding insult to injury with a dour look and a roll of his eyes. He didn't set him down right away, instead tossed the hat towards it's normal resting spot, kicking his boots and socks back off and then gloves. Belt and Harness next, he moved carefully towards his desk, rummaging around for his glasses after setting the papers and news paper on the desk. "Portgas, you know you can flash dry yourself, right? You're dripping still," he said, flicking the wire rimmed glasses onto his face.

"It's harder with ocean," Ace sulked but started cautiously warming his clothes up. "If I burn my pants or boots, you're buying me new ones," he insisted and slowly snuck up to be able to suck on Smoker's ear, much more content from the action than before.

"I'll buy you ones that don't offend my eyes," Smoker warned, though did pause the free hand to rip it back and stuff it in his pocket. That little shit. He shivered a bit, eyes closing as he breathed in and out slowly, clutching the other a little harder than before. "And you know what'll happen if you burn that jacket. I'm still pissed about the burn hole you left in Alabasta."

"Yeah yeah," Ace murmured quietly in the ear before giving it more attention with his tongue, completely licking the shell and manipulating the grooves. "My shorts are awesome. Zoro showed me where he got his shark ones." Okay that was a dumb thing to tell Smoker about now of all times, but Ace finished getting ride of the water from his clothes and gently dragged his teeth down Smoker's neck. "Smoker," he moaned heavily into the other man's ear, "What happened to reminding my body I'm yours?"

"Your shorts are mindrapingly bright. It hurts my eyes." He grunted though, growling when Zoro was brought up, before slowly turning towards the bed and dropping Ace onto it. "No. Bad." He tapped him on the nose with shaking hands. "Lay your ass down and relax. I have to do work."

"Work is overrated," Ace's eyes flattened and he sulked. "Sex is better. And I like my bright shorts, they usually make everyone want to take them off of me." Hint hint.

"Besides shark shorts. I think you are underestimating how purely awesome these shorts are. Let me explain it to you. They have sharks on them." And thus were clearly the best damn shorts ever created. The envy of the universe.

"Portgas," Smoker hissed, not moving from where he was. "Shorts off, hands at your sides and sit with pillows behind your back at the head of the bed, now." Obviously the only way he was going to get Ace to shut up was to do something that required his mind somewhere else. On him. He had ideas. He began undoing his belt, then his jeans, watching Ace carefully to make sure he was doing what he wanted him to.

Despite rankling a little at the orders, Ace complied, quickly stripped out of the shorts, and laid back with pillows behind his back. Ace watched Smoker with unmasked interest and arched and eyebrow, leering slightly, and tried to get Smoker to come closer so he could molest him. "Are you going to boss me around the whole time? I'm not complaining, but if this is going to be a theme for the night, I should get prepared for it."

"Patience is a virtue, Portgas, learn it." Smoker followed after Ace, smirking slightly as he settled between his legs, nearer to the tips of his feet. and hunched over him right after. "Legs over my shoulder, Blacksheep." He leaned in for a quick lick against his stomach as he reached to touch lightly at a foot. "Unless you don't want a blow job? Take my cigars if you do."

"Patience is for people with time to spare," Ace smirked, removed the cigars and hooked his legs around Smoker's back. "Not that I'll ever refuse oral sex from you," Ace put the cigar in his own mouth and puffed on it, "But shouldn't I be doing something for you?"

"I'm pretty sure that right now you need oral sex than I do," Smoker admitted with a snort, rolling his eyes and leaned down to lick a wet stripe up the base of his dick. A soft rumbling chuckle left him, big hands coming to frame his hips as he shifted slightly to pull Ace closer to his mouth.

Ace's fingers curled and clenched on the pillows behind his back and he spread his legs a little more, shifted to help Smoker get comfortable and soon enough he couldn't take it, he laced his fingers through Smoker's hair.

"I'm pretty fucked up, huh?" Ace laughed bitterly and shuddered at the lick. "I mess up, hurt you, and yet because I'm the one who can't calm down, you're being nice to me. I don't really know how to take that."

Smoker stopped, tilted his head up to fix Ace a look and just frowned. "Do I need to shove a sock in your mouth? Smack you upside the head again?" He asked sardonically, in different words telling the brat to shut up and enjoy. Slowly, he began leaning down to take just the crown into his mouth and sucked lightly. The tip speared the slit lazily, eyes dropping closed as he began to relax into the whole damned thing.

This was something he could enjoy, the coiled muscles lying just below the skin, the slight salt that danced against his tongue. It wasn't too bad. Though, he suspected he'd need to urge the brat to eat more fruit because even the precome was getting a bit acidic. Too much meet wasn't a good thing.

Ace clenched his jaw, determined to keep his mouth shut and almost instantly let out a strangled yelp of pleasure through clenched teeth anyway. "Oh... Oh god Smoker..." he groaned and tightened then loosened his grip on Smoker's hair. Fuck it felt good, so good. His shoulders started to loosen up knots he hadn't even realized they had and he laid back in the pillows more, finally closing his eyes just to focus on the sensation.

At the sudden groan of his name, Smoker rewarded Ace with a firmer suck, taking him deeper into his mouth. This was something he could handle, where Ace relaxed and became a puddle under him, where he stopped over thinking and believing he wasn't worth the attention though it was clear that somewhere deep in Ace's thick D brain (he swore that having a D in your name made you slow) he knew he was worth everything and more, that the outcry of him being disbelieving was more of a cry just to have it reaffirmed that it was.

He was over thinking this, he realized, keeping his eyes shut as he let the dick touch the back of his throat.

Whimpering in more sounds of pleasure that Ace tried to hide, his fingers gripped the sheets tightly in his fingers and he twisted slightly, pulling back and trying not to buck his hips too much.

Ace didn't actually think he was worth it. He usually tried to give it his best to prove to himself, to others, that he was indeed worth something, but in the end, he really was rather convinced he wasn't worth it. Good for nothing, just a black sheep screwup. He could trust Smoker, and even trust Smoker's opinions of Ace's value, but he couldn't bring himself to believe it.

If anything, some of his screw-ups might just be because at his worst, he really believed he was going to screw-up either way, maybe it was just best to get it over with. That was why he'd tried to bring himself to leave Smoker after all.

But slowly, surely, the more he lets himself give into the pleasure, the moment, the wet heat, the feel, the tension, the thoughts of worthlessness, the self-loathing start to ebb away. It's not resolved, but muting them still helped.

The way the firebrand began melting under the ministrations left Smoker smug and happy. It made relax in kind, tension leaving the strong shoulders as if Ace had taken his always warm hands and began to rub the knots in the muscles away. Further along the other's length, Smoker hummed, curling his tongue this way and that, trying to rip the noises from him, as if they belonged to him.

(no subject)

ace_of_hearts - 2013-03-01 14:45 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only