locked to smoker

[monkeydluffy]

[ So this happened.

she's sitting cross legged on the floor of G5's galley, tons of plates that are empty around her. She's wearing a marine vest. Strawhat hanging around her neck.

How did she get there? No one knows, well. Maybe. Maybe she was actually there doing something, but food!!!!

lucky for her, most of the marines are ignoring her. ]

Comments

[justicereigns]

[STRANGLES.]

OI! WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF YOU!? ARE YOU ALL DEAF AND BLIND AS WELL AS RETARDED?!

[Shakes Luffy harder. Like a dog thrashing a squirrel.]

[monkeydluffy]

[ NOOOO HER MEAT. WHINES. ]

SMOKEY! [ nope punching at him, wait. she needs to pretend to be a marine. innocent look.

that'll totally work

also her marine outfit totally fooled everyone.

except dumb smokey]

[justicereigns]

What the hell are you doing here, dumb shit?

[monkeydluffy]

'unno. [ .... pause. ] It's a mystery. [ what the fuck ]

[justicereigns]

[Lightly punches.] Get out of that uniform right now.

[monkeydluffy]

[ ..... stares down at herself. Then back up. Then okay. taking off the uniform. enjoy your topless Luffyko Smoker. SHE'S JUST DOING WHAT YOU ASKED HER TOO. ]

Nami said I shouldn't do this, but okay.

1/5

[justicereigns]

[.............]

[COMPLETELY FREAKS OUT!!!!!]

NO NO NO! NOT HERE! NOT--

2/5

[justicereigns]

NOT LIKE THAT!!!

3/5

[justicereigns]

[CHOKES ON HIS OWN FLUSTERED MENTAL BREAKDOWN!!!]

4/5

[justicereigns]

[WHAT IS HIS LIFE?! WHAT IS HIS LIFE?!?!?!?!]

[But at least he has the presence of mind to grab her shoulders, cover her back up...]

[Mostly-ish.]

5/5

[justicereigns]

[And sling her over his shoulder and carry her out!]

[...]

[He even grabs a turkey leg with a smoke hand as he goes.]

[Best Smoker?]

[Best Smoker.]

What the hell!?

And why do you have bo-- breas... THOSE?!

[Uwah, his ears are too red.]

[monkeydluffy]

[ Wow, Smokey's even weirder than normal. Telling her to take the uniform off and now he forcibly put it back on her and picked her up and carrying her out.

.... She's gonna get herself something to eat with a stretched arm, laughing happily as it snaps back and wriggles her fingers around the turkey she stole from a table. A+ would do again.]

Mah, Smokey. I was born with them.... [ reaching around with her free hand and just gropes his chest. pause.]

WAH YOU HAVE THEM TOO!

[justicereigns]

I do not idiot!

[WHAP!]

[monkeydluffy]

[ WHINE. ]

You do so! [ grope grope. ]

[justicereigns]

I do not!

STOP GROPING ME!

[Flails to try to get Luffy's hands off.]

I MEAN STOP TOUCHING ME!

[Yes that's better... no wait it's not.]

[He's yelling this in the hall of his own base.]

[....]

[Well whatever.]

[monkeydluffy]

You're weird, Smokey. [ flops against his shoulder and eats her turkey. It is delicious and smoker is definitely weirder than normal. ]

[justicereigns]

[MORE TWITCHING.]

Don't just laugh and--

[GROWLS AND STOMPS TO HIS ROOM.]

Well, you're under arrest. Boobs or no boobs. [SO THERE.]

1/2

[monkeydluffy]

EHHHHHH?!

[monkeydluffy]

[ nope, nope nope nope. shoving the whole turkey in her mouth good bye she's gonna try to wriggle away cause NO P E ]

[justicereigns]

[Grabs her around the neck and pounces to hold her down.]

Stop that! You won't get away so easily!

[monkeydluffy]

[ AAAAND PUNCHING WITH HAKI. RIGHT TO THE FACE. and doing a boa constrictor thing with her limbs around you. BECAUSE THAT'LL STOP YOU RIGHT RIIIIIIGHT? ]

Stupid Smokey! [ punch punch. bites. ....nibbles cause still hungry. ]

[justicereigns]

[alsdkjawoiaejolyAIJALkjdlkJStglKJEADLKASj]

[FLAIL FLAIL!]

[DON'T WRAP AROUND HIM AND BITE HIM!]

I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!

[Of course this makes it nearly impossible to poke her with the jitte... so he's just trying to get her tied up with smoke and held out from him in way that'll make it harder for her to get in any precision.]

1/2

[monkeydluffy]

[ SHE'S GOING TO JUST WRAP AROUND YOU MORE, SMOKER. THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK. but she is gonna gnaw on a shoulder cause ugh she's HUNGRY.

stomach growls. ]

Oi, dumb Smokey.

[monkeydluffy]

Feed me!

[ GNAW GNAW ]

[justicereigns]

Fine. [ANNOYED.]

[But carries her....]

[Towards the brig :|]

[monkeydluffy]

[ NOPE. SHE'S NOT THAT DUMB. EXCUSE HER, SHE'S GETTING OFF OF YOU AND GOMU GOMU NO ROCKETING AWAY GOODBYE NOPE NOPE NOPE ]

No!

[justicereigns]

Then why the fuck would I feed you?!

1/2

[monkeydluffy]

....

[monkeydluffy]

Cause I'm hungry, dumb Smokey.

[justicereigns]

And that affects me how?

Idiot.

[Attempts to leg sweep kick!]

[ace_of_hearts]

[HEY HE WILL OUT EAT YOU DAMN IT!]

[Except he's distracted by cute baby bro-sis and just leans his head over her, still trying to grab food.]

Yo!

[monkeydluffy]

Niisan!

[ yeah ignore her stealing your food. right from your hands. it is in her mouth and it is hers. ]

[ace_of_hearts]

[LIGHT PUNCHES.]

[DO NOT TAKE FOOD FROM HIS HANDS HE WILL THROW YOU INTO A WALL. CUTER OR NOT.]

[But he doesn't take the food back at least, just grabs more.]

When did you get here?

[monkeydluffy]

[ Ace, you threaten that like it's going to do anything to stop her, because it won't. It'll just start a OH WE'RE WRESTLING NOW THEN train of thought.

but, she'll chew the food in her mouth and talk at the same time. ]

dunno! Supposed to wait for Nami to come get me! Shishishi.

[ace_of_hearts]

Oh okay!

[Giant grin like this is totally safe.]

We should probably eat outside.

[CAUSE THEY ARE GETTING LOOOOOOOKS.]

[monkeydluffy]

Huh? Why? [ nope, not moving, more food in face. ]

[ace_of_hearts]

Cause some dumbfucks tend to say shit they really shouldn't, and then I go off and get in trouble.

[AKA: YOU ARE TROUBLE WAITING TO HAPPEN.]

Come on, come on, before Jii-chan finds us.

[monkeydluffy]

[ .... Okay, now she's actually taking a good look to where she is. Because why would Jiijii be he--

SCREE ]

JIIJII?!

[ace_of_hearts]

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[Covers her mouth!]

[With food.]

[And gently carefully steers with platters outside.]

It's better to be outside. Then it's harder for him to surprise us.

[monkeydluffy]

[ MUFFLED COMMENTARY ABOUT HOW THAT'S DUMB. ACE IS DUMB. THAT JUST GIVES HIM MORE OPPORTUNITY TO SNEAK UP ON THEM. so she's shoving more food into her face because garp will do it. she doesn't wanna die on an empty stomach. ]

[ace_of_hearts]

You're dumb.

We could see him coming then.

Dumbie.

[>:|]

[monkeydluffy]

Nuh-uh. You're dumb. [ steals some of your food as proof of that. ]

YOU'RE STUPID. IT'S JIIJII. [ insisting. ]

[ace_of_hearts]

Kuso Jiijii.

Kuso imoto.