As he was urged to look at the elder mage, Khadgar slowly lifted himself onto his hands and held himself up enough that he could look him in his green eyes. Khadgar looked a little guilty when Medivh told him that he drew more from him that previously thought, knowing it was true and not on purpose. He just wanted to always be there supporting the heroes, running at an hundred percent when they needed him. Of course, his body had issues with that and really, he was only human.
The moment Khadgar locked eyes with Medivh, it was like they weren't naked and the Archmage wasn't looming over him to match their gazes. Medivh was always so intense and the world began to fall away from them while his heart thumped erratically beneath his breast for a completely different reason.
It was like looking at the sun for too long and there was just too much to handle, so he dropped his gaze down to the mage's neck. The white slashed mark across the mage's neck instead held his attention while he listened and almost shamefully kept himself still.
"I lead the Council of Six now," Khadgar softly murmured, feeling that was the only thing he could truly comment on for that moment. White strands dusted against his forehead, hiding his furrowed brows and knew that Medivh was right. He had told others that he would be gone to Karazhan to look for his answers and really, to make sure the Legion had not tainted the tower any more than they had.
The brief lull between the Magus reminding him that he would know if someone had come for Khadgar and beginning his commentary about agreeing with Sargeras over something... well, the Archmage's blue eyes widened with brief shock and snapped to focus on the elder mage's animated green ones before it melted as he truly listened and realized what the comment was about.
Once again, he lowered his gaze and took in the words his mentor was offering, reminding him of. He was not the Guardian of Azeroth, no one person held the true power needed to protect it and it was the whole population of their word that held it in equal measures. Oh, he knew it so well and preached it to himself whenever he was weak enough to wish for the power of a Guardian to show the enemies of Azeroth what he, the apprentice to the last one, could bring down on them. That weakness always reminded him why there could never be another Guardian like Medivh and why he fought so hard to aid the Champions as much as he could.
Khadgar scoffed when Medivh told him that while he told everyone to trust him, he lacked the ability to trust others. It was not that simple and he scrabble for the words to tell his teacher just that. They weren't coming as fast as he'd have liked them too and it caused him to listen to the rest of the dark haired mage's words.
"Logic is sometimes overridden by fear," Khadgar said simply instead, blinking as Medivh poked him knowingly in the center of hs forehead, "it is not that I do not trust them, it is that I worry if something were to happen and there was a way for me to prevent it..." Thick white brows furrowed and Khadgar found himself snorting at how everything sounded from his mouth. "There will always be time to rest after the Legion is repelled and this is one of the few ways I can help the Champions move forward. Logic doesn't always win out when it should."
Lowering himself down to rest flat aginst Medivh once more, Khadgar hid his bright blue eyes behind his eyelids and took in a slow deep breath.
"I am not the Guardian, you are very correct in that assumption, I have no want to be one either. I simply want to push the ones who are fully capable of defeating any trial that is thrown towards Azeroth, forward."
His words sounded strange to him, though he repeated them to himself repeatedly over the years passed. It was different because he was saying them to the one person who could intimately understand his point of view.
Oh, he was so glad that the Magus had come from where he came and agreed to return to Dalaran with him, if only because he knew that without someone he listened to or argue with... he would work himself sick. Not to death, because he doubted Modera would let him get that far and he, himself, was not ready to die just yet.
The soothing tenor echoes of Medivh's words bounced through his head, reminding him that he was not being selfish in taking some time to himself. He breathed in once more and found himself swamped in the scent of the body below him, allowing it to calm him more.
Khadgar was realizing only then how much of his heart belonged to the elder man for all the years passed. He had heard stories of longing and truly, Turalyon and Alleria were always one of his first go-to for thinking of how lucky overs were. There was no place for him to tell Medivh and previously he had no real chance too. Yet... here the Magus was and all those repressed feelings began to emerge.
He was truly in trouble if he could not get himself under control. He could not afford anything distracting him from his venture to help the heroes and Medivh was the epitome of just that. Khadgar had no doubt that he would be facing many days of forgetting where he was to watch Medivh tinker with something. Or nights filled with the thoughts of how well their bodies had seemed to slot together as they chased their pleasure.
That was a horrible thing to think on, he realized interrupting his own thoughts as his body attempted to show its approval with the idea of nights where he could get lost imagining other things he could do with the ex-Guardian.
A low, exasperated groan left Khadgar and he shifted himself only slightly so he could thump his head against a bone to knock himself out of it.
"I am not used to contact," Khadgar murmured while his ears pinkened in embarrassment, "I must apologize."
no subject
The moment Khadgar locked eyes with Medivh, it was like they weren't naked and the Archmage wasn't looming over him to match their gazes. Medivh was always so intense and the world began to fall away from them while his heart thumped erratically beneath his breast for a completely different reason.
It was like looking at the sun for too long and there was just too much to handle, so he dropped his gaze down to the mage's neck. The white slashed mark across the mage's neck instead held his attention while he listened and almost shamefully kept himself still.
"I lead the Council of Six now," Khadgar softly murmured, feeling that was the only thing he could truly comment on for that moment. White strands dusted against his forehead, hiding his furrowed brows and knew that Medivh was right. He had told others that he would be gone to Karazhan to look for his answers and really, to make sure the Legion had not tainted the tower any more than they had.
The brief lull between the Magus reminding him that he would know if someone had come for Khadgar and beginning his commentary about agreeing with Sargeras over something... well, the Archmage's blue eyes widened with brief shock and snapped to focus on the elder mage's animated green ones before it melted as he truly listened and realized what the comment was about.
Once again, he lowered his gaze and took in the words his mentor was offering, reminding him of. He was not the Guardian of Azeroth, no one person held the true power needed to protect it and it was the whole population of their word that held it in equal measures. Oh, he knew it so well and preached it to himself whenever he was weak enough to wish for the power of a Guardian to show the enemies of Azeroth what he, the apprentice to the last one, could bring down on them. That weakness always reminded him why there could never be another Guardian like Medivh and why he fought so hard to aid the Champions as much as he could.
Khadgar scoffed when Medivh told him that while he told everyone to trust him, he lacked the ability to trust others. It was not that simple and he scrabble for the words to tell his teacher just that. They weren't coming as fast as he'd have liked them too and it caused him to listen to the rest of the dark haired mage's words.
"Logic is sometimes overridden by fear," Khadgar said simply instead, blinking as Medivh poked him knowingly in the center of hs forehead, "it is not that I do not trust them, it is that I worry if something were to happen and there was a way for me to prevent it..." Thick white brows furrowed and Khadgar found himself snorting at how everything sounded from his mouth. "There will always be time to rest after the Legion is repelled and this is one of the few ways I can help the Champions move forward. Logic doesn't always win out when it should."
Lowering himself down to rest flat aginst Medivh once more, Khadgar hid his bright blue eyes behind his eyelids and took in a slow deep breath.
"I am not the Guardian, you are very correct in that assumption, I have no want to be one either. I simply want to push the ones who are fully capable of defeating any trial that is thrown towards Azeroth, forward."
His words sounded strange to him, though he repeated them to himself repeatedly over the years passed. It was different because he was saying them to the one person who could intimately understand his point of view.
Oh, he was so glad that the Magus had come from where he came and agreed to return to Dalaran with him, if only because he knew that without someone he listened to or argue with... he would work himself sick. Not to death, because he doubted Modera would let him get that far and he, himself, was not ready to die just yet.
The soothing tenor echoes of Medivh's words bounced through his head, reminding him that he was not being selfish in taking some time to himself. He breathed in once more and found himself swamped in the scent of the body below him, allowing it to calm him more.
Khadgar was realizing only then how much of his heart belonged to the elder man for all the years passed. He had heard stories of longing and truly, Turalyon and Alleria were always one of his first go-to for thinking of how lucky overs were. There was no place for him to tell Medivh and previously he had no real chance too. Yet... here the Magus was and all those repressed feelings began to emerge.
He was truly in trouble if he could not get himself under control. He could not afford anything distracting him from his venture to help the heroes and Medivh was the epitome of just that. Khadgar had no doubt that he would be facing many days of forgetting where he was to watch Medivh tinker with something. Or nights filled with the thoughts of how well their bodies had seemed to slot together as they chased their pleasure.
That was a horrible thing to think on, he realized interrupting his own thoughts as his body attempted to show its approval with the idea of nights where he could get lost imagining other things he could do with the ex-Guardian.
A low, exasperated groan left Khadgar and he shifted himself only slightly so he could thump his head against a bone to knock himself out of it.
"I am not used to contact," Khadgar murmured while his ears pinkened in embarrassment, "I must apologize."